A man goes to his doctor for a blood test, and then he goes on vacation.
After his vacation, the moment he steps in the door the telephone rings. The man picks up, and it's his doctor. "I've got good news and bad news for you," says the doctor.
"I'll take the good news first," says the man."
"The good news is that you have 24 hours to live," says the doctor.
"What???!!!" says the man, "What???!!! That's the 'good' news???!!! What in Heaven's Holy Name is the 'bad' news???!!!"
The doctor answered, "I started trying to call you yesterday."
A young man goes to his doctor, who gives him a very thorough examination. Finally, the doctor says, "I have some very bad news for you. You only have ten left to live."
"'Ten'!!!!!!!!!!" quotes the man angrily, "'Ten'!!!!!!!!!! Ten what?????????? Years? Months? Weeks? Days?"
"Nine..." the doctor answers.