Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Joke: The Stingy Bank Loan Officer

The bank President instructs the loan officer in the New York City office, "Listen, these are tough times. We have to eliminate risk from our loan portfolio. So, from now on, only lend money to people who don't need it. And make sure that those are well-secured loans."

The loan officer agrees.

A few minutes later, in walks a famous, fabulously wealthy movie star hunk and his voluptuous female escort. The movie star says, "Listen, I'd like to borrow $15,000."

The loan officer thinks, "WOW! This is unbelievable! A fabulously wealthy borrower, who clearly doesn't need the money!"

So, the loan officer puts on a grim, business-like face and says, "Ahem, I think that we can help you, sir. But, of course we'll need collateral."

The movie star smiles and says, "How about my brand new $1.7 million Burgatti Veyron, which does 0 to 60 in 2.6 seconds, and maxes-out at one-third the speed of sound!"

The loan officer thinks, "Sheesh! The world's most expensive sports car! That's security enough!" But, while he manages to retain his business-like demeanor, he has the movie star sign some papers, he receives his car keys from him, explains that the car will be parked in the bank's secure, insured car lot, and he gives him a bank check for $15,000.

The movie star smiles and says, "Your man will find the car parked in back of the building."

The bank president is shocked at the report of his loan officer's quick success, and writes a memo entitling him to a bonus with the next paycheck.

A week later, the movie star comes back to the loan officer, smiling, a different lovely girl hanging on his arm.

"I'm here to repay my debt," he says. "How much do I owe you?"

Puzzled, the loan officer takes out his calculator, and multiplies $15,000 x .07 interest -:- 52 weeks per year, and says, "That will be the $15,000 we loaned you, plus $20.19."

The movie star gives the loan officer back the bank's own $15,000 check, and a $20 bill and a quarter from his pocket. "Keep the change," he says. "Now, where are my car keys?"

The loan officer is numb with astonishment. "But if you did not even need the $15,000, why did you borrow it?"

The movie star smiles and says, "Where else can I park a $1.7 million car in Manhattan for a week for $20.19?"

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