Quickee Divorce

(This was my favorite Amazing True Stories story. Women from patriarchal Third World countries generally love it.)

Many women will greatly enjoy the following true story, heh, heh, heh.

The wife essentially always discovers “the other woman,” correct?

In the 1990s, in Prague, capital city of the Czech Republic, Franz Czermak kissed his wife Vera Czermak goodbye and left their fourth floor apartment for the day.

Then, a note under the door? A mysterious telephone call? The reports don’t say. One thing is certain: Suddenly, Vera Czermak knew.

All day long, Vera Czermak swung from rage to sorrow and then rage again, from a desire to kill her husband to a desire to commit suicide to a desire to kill. Murder, suicide, murder, suicide.

With more charity than hate in her heart, Vera Czermak decided in favor of suicide. Just before her husband was due to come home, she moved across the room to the door to the balcony, where she and her husband used to sit on warm Summer evenings. She opened the door, went onto the balcony, climbed onto the railing and, without looking down, she jumped to the concrete sidewalk below.

Some time later, Vera Czermak awakened suddenly. Maybe at first she wondered if she was in Heaven, for deciding to kill herself instead of her husband, or in Hell, for taking her own life?

No! She was in the hospital! And doctors and nurses and police stood around her bed, looking at Vera with a very strange look. Mrs. Czermak thought, “How did I survive? And why are they looking at me like that?”

“Mrs. Czermak,” said the policeman in charge, “We have good news and we have bad news.

“The good news is that you survived your fall from the balcony to the concrete sidewalk below without hurting yourself too much.

“The bad news is that you are suddenly a widow. Your husband died. When you fell from the balcony, you happened to fall on your husband. He died of his injuries, but his body saved you from hitting the sidewalk.”